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Trump Goes Viral (Literally) and Kamala Takes Down Pence

This week, our hosts discuss Trump’s COVID diagnosis and the vice-presidential debate –– which “was everything that I wanted it to be and more,” says Danielle. “The only thing missing was a major democracy-ish watch party with a bunch of people hooting and hollering and drinking and carrying on.”

  • Kamala Harris and Mike Pence met in Utah for a socially distanced and civil yet wholly gratifying vice-presidential debate.

  • After months of science denial and vulgar indifference, the president became one of the 7.6+ million COVID patients in America. Or did he?

  • With Trump back in the White House, who will he infect next? And are there any more October surprises in store?

On Wednesday night, the incumbent veep and the junior senator from California faced off –– separated by a panel of Plexiglas and a chasm between their visions of America.

While Pence certainly behaved with more decorum than his boss did the week before, he repeated plenty of lies. Thankfully, Harris thrives on the sweat of lying men.

“Kamala Harris is a motherfucking assassin,” says Danielle. “I liked her before. I love that bitch now.”

Toure agrees: “Kamala seemed smooth and cool and joyful –– full of issues and answers to questions. Pence seemed stiff and low energy, Donald Trump's least favorite attribute, consistently evading nearly every question in an almost ridiculously stereotypical, political way.”

And as if to underscore his frozen affect, a small winged insect joined the proceedings.

“I want to give a shout-out to the late Justice Ginsburg, for placing a black fly on Mike Pence's white-ass wig for the world to see: Flies only gravitate toward shit,” Danielle quips.

But the juiciest debate this week is on democracy-ish itself. Danielle is so scarred by Trump’s endless falsehoods that she doesn’t believe Trump contracted corona. Toure buys it, though.

Let’s mask up and dig in.

Episode Highlights –– Does Trump Really Have Corona???

Super(spreader) Bowl 2020

“Mike Pence is a robot. He is a lap dog. He's an embarrassment. And he looked like he had COVID eyes,” says Danielle. “I'm still concerned that motherfucker is going to turn up positive by the end of this week.”

That’s because we learned early Friday morning, that Donald and Melania Trump tested positive. And then the dominoes began to fall.

Turns out Amy Coney Barrett’s maskless SCOTUS reveal party in the White House rose garden was a superspreader event, infecting at least 11 administration officials, journalists, senators and other guests.

The fallout has been nothing short of spectacular. Trump was whisked to Walter Reed, where he spent four days getting world-class care, and a cocktail of experimental treatments and a fuckton of steroids. He returned to the White House, triumphantly pulled off his mask and tweeted “Don’t be afraid of COVID. Don’t let it dominate your life.”

And although we don’t know for sure, it looks like Trump knew he was COVID-positive when he attended a fundraiser at his Bedminster, New Jersey golf club later that week. Was he infected when he debated Biden?

COVID-19 is not swine flu

Although Pence, Mother (a.k.a. the Second Lady) and the Bidens, as well as Harris and her husband, tested negative when we recorded this episode, they’re not out of the woods yet.

So it was especially galling to hear Pence defend Trump’s pandemic response.

“It’s beyond gaslighting,” Toure says. “It could have been 2 million dead, so 200,000 and counting –– you should thank us. What universe are you speaking from?”

Plus, Pence doubled down on Trump’s argument that the Obama administration mishandled the 2009 swine flu outbreak.

“Do you remember the swine flu?” Danielle asks. “I might have stopped eating bacon. But I don't remember the world shutting down because of the fucking swine flu.”

“Nothing could make me stop eating bacon,” Toure replies. “However, I do remember swine flu, and I also remember it being something rather small we all moved along from.”

Using swine flu as a retort to COVID is “absurd,” he adds. “You can't consistently tell us that the truth is not the truth and have us believe it. It's disgusting.”